was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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