Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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