Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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