I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
this must be what syphilis tastes like
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
