we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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