Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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