shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
