Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
