Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
