we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
