Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize