Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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