ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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