"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
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