I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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