Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
