Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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