Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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