You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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