sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize