Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
