New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
