why didn't you poke me back
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
