This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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