I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
MIDGETS
????
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize