you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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