we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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