it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
