it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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