Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
