my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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