Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
