Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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