We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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