your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
you win again, gameday.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
