I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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