Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize