Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
