We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
