the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
