Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
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