just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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