Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
