Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
