Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
