I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
