Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
