So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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