So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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