doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
