I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Randomize
