The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize