I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize