come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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