He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
