Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You made out with two different species that night
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
