Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize