a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
