He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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