john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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