Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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