what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
