Sacagawea was the original milf.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
