My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
