Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
