we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
