i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
