in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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